Tuesday, 15 November 2011

Getting The Horn

Went out for an evening ride tonight. Did 15 miles or so and, returning in the dark, I was well lit up and wearing a hi viz/reflective jacket. The ride was nice with no great dramas from other road users. Well not until right at the end and then I met a right one.

I was stopped at red lights waiting to turn right* into a side street and then would be making another right turn 50m or so further on into my garage area. There was a driver (henceforth to be called Moron) in a hatchback waiting behind and reving his engine. The lights turned green and I set off, maintaining primary and getting up to 18-20 mph very quickly. There was on oncoming car I planned to let pass before I made my turn and the lane ahead was partially blocked by a parked car. What did Moron try and do? Only tried to overtake didn't he! I signalled my intention to turn right and moved to the centre line forcing Moron to wait behind me. What did Moron do next? Only thought it appropriate to start sounding his horn!!

*UK Road. Driving on the left
Well that was it. We had almost come to a stop with the traffic situation as it was so I unclipped, swung my leg over and shouted at him "What do you want?". I don't think he quite expected a reaction along those lines. He wound down his window and sheepishly said "You are in the middle of the road!". My reply was one of those you would always like to have made but never actually think of it until after the event...except I did. 

"Yes. I am in the middle of the road. I have every right to be here. You can see me and should be driving accordingly. The lane ahead is blocked and I am positioning/signalling to turn right and there was on oncoming car anyway. You should not be trying to overtake me. Do you think the correct response from you in this situation is to sound your horn and try to intimidate me? You are a tosser". 

And with that I left him to lick his wounds. Beautiful!


  1. Brill! Have you ever tried to say all the above but towards the end add "I am more than happy to call our local police officer and have it explained to you"... you should see the face dropping... you can even take off the insult (which totally understand with adrenaline pumping!) because the level of smugness at their face whitening is just so awesomely good! :D x

  2. If possible I delay motorists who beep me.

    In routine cases where a motorist sounds his horn because he thinks I'm blocking his way I move further out and stop pedalling and begin coasting along, coming to a complete halt if he keeps sounding the horn.

    Sometimes as a bonus I delay the motorist again when I catch him up at lights or in busy traffic etc.

    A cheery wave goodbye accompanied by a big smile is how I end such encounters, hopefully after I've been treated to lots of red faced ranting and wild gesticulations from the motorist.

  3. Anon

    Indeed 'Hurrah!' Who are you by the way?


    Can never get away without a little of the red mist seeping into my language on these occasions. I thought 'tosser' was quite restrained really. I'll try harder next time to be more polite.


    I salute you actions sir but would not want to suggest to any readers that lickle ickle cyclists should intentionally delay busy motorists going about thier important business on the road. ;-)

    I however was not even blocking this idiots way. He would have either aborted the overtake or done it, cut me up and then have had to stop in front of me anyway. Like I said - 'tosser'.

  4. I think 'tosser' is quite restrained of you.

  5. Please accept a virtual shake of the hand sir!

  6. Well done to you! I agree that calling him a "tosser" was restrained, indeed!

  7. ;) was only saying as I found that if you call people names, even when they are in the wrong it makes the situation worse and they shut you off... while politely referring to reporting them to the police has a much more effective response :D

  8. LC

    I agree with you. I have made strides in this direction to reign in any simmering anger when faced with similar situations. 'Tosser' was restrained for me but I know I can do better. :-)